It was September, 2008. I was frantically working off my 600 hours of community service so that I would have a clean record when I went before the board of medicine to get my license reinstated. Most of my community service was done on the Blue Ridge Parkway as a maintenance volunteer. But as a member of the Emmaus Community, I applied and was accepted to do community service on one of the weekends. I picked agape because I had never done that before and wanted to learn. It’s a small world. I found out while working there that another agape volunteer worked in the US Attorney’s office. She wasn’t involved in my case, however, but knew of me through the office. The wounds of being a felon and questioning the purpose of it all were still fresh for me. I knew in my heart of hearts that God supported me and my work, and that all would end up okay. But not having a clear line of communication from God, I continuously questioned my decisions. Were they mine, or were they God’s? I had prayed continuously through the 2 years of legal negotiations for God to lead me down the right path. I made the decision to accept the plea offered by Pat Hogeboom thinking, as my lawyer suggested, that I could do a lot more to help people heal on the outside of prison than the inside. People erroneously believe that our Justice Department actually bring only guilty people to trial. Little do they know that US Attorneys do what is in their best interest to achieve political gain or job security, and justice has nothing to do with it. And I could justify the acceptance of the plea. Even when Hogeboom added a whole different realm of charges at the 12th hour than we had agreed to, I continued with the agreement. I wasn’t afraid of going to trial because I believed that God, in his power and glory, would demonstrate his power by saving me from the lions. Just as Shadrack, Meshach and Abednego, I believed God would save me. But I caved and took the easy road.
I continuously searched for messages from God that He supported me. He spoke to me through the radio in songs that played specifically for me with the message I needed to hear. And then, on that Emmaus weekend, he sent me a specific message. All my life my favorite bible verse had been Psalm 121. “I lift mine eyes to the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord.” But on this Emmaus weekend, God intended to show me a new verse. One that would become my favorite–that kept me going through the bad times. One that today, keeps me focused on the course–the course God has for me.
One of the gifts of agape given on the Emmaus weekend was placemats for the meals An Emmaus member always provided placemats for Sunday lunch. They were calligraphied with the person’s name repeated continuously around the edge. In the middle was a bible verse. The person, when writing each placemat, would pray and discern the message God wanted that person to see. On Sunday, I took the box with the placemats to make sure we had one for every pilgrim. I was hit in the face like a two-by-four being swung by Chris Vaughn (character in Walking Tall) when I opened the box. The very first placemat had Linda calligraphied around the edge. (There was one Linda on the team.) And the verse printed in the middle was Jeremiah 29: 11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declared the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
I knew those words on that placemat were meant for me. They eased my mind. Even though life was rough as a felon considering it should never have happened if the government wasn’t set on an evil agenda, I knew that I did God’s work and he was pleased. He would see me through and I would succeed. That verse still keeps me in full faith in the power of God to put things right at my trial. I will not cave this time. I will face the devil and he will be bowed by my Lord and Savior.
To God be the Glory.
Sorry it has been a while since I wrote. A lot has happened in the last 2 weeks. This will be a summary, and then I will go into each one in more detail at a later date.
First, my book launch on May 15. After 4 months of continuous work, I launched my book, Target: Pain Doc on May 15. I started out at around 1,751,547 in books. I usually try to sell my books myself on my website rather than Amazon because I make more money. At noon I was 97,255. And I broke the best seller list at 2:30 at 57 in the subcategory of Medical Fiction. I let out a “Praise God” and was so happy. A lot of work paid off.
Second, I was the leader of a spiritual weekend for women who have incarcerated loved ones last weekend, May 18-20. It was a glorious weekend. Everything ran smoothly and seven women were blessed with all the love they received.
The last thing might not seem so great, but in God’s point of view, it is the greatest. Thursday I was indicted on 176 counts of drug trafficking. 86 counts of distribution without a DEA certificate and 81 counts of using the DEA number of another doctor. This is where God is really going to shine. At last we have come to the climax. As I told a friend, at last I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. That friend replied, Yes, and the light is Jesus Christ.
I know that through the course of this, I will be scourged and bleeding (in a emotional and psychological way). I know that the Justice Department will lie, cheat, coerce, threaten, and try to paint a picture of me as a bad person and doctor. That’s what they are good at. Justice is not a part of their belief system or action. But I can stand up to their whips. I’ve been to the Garden of Gethsemane. I’ve sat in the hole where Jesus lay during his trial. I’ve walked the path where he walked. This is small potatoes compared to what he went through. And I know that my trial is for God’s glory. God is tired of this country turning it’s back on him. God is disappointed on our leadership shunning him. God is tired of the courts taking his commandments off of public buildings. He is tired of decisions like Judge Urbanski’s where a compromise on the Ten Commandments being displayed as a historical document at Giles County Schools means removing the first 5 commandments because God’s name is present.
God wants this country to repent. To repent means to think again. We all need to think again. The actions of the Justice Department all over this country by shutting down doctors treating pain is to put people on the street. People die. People commit suicide because of pain. That ensures that the person will spend eternity in Hell. Who is responsible for that? The person has to accept responsibility for their actions, but God will hold the ones responsible that caused it by putting people on the street for treating their pain, by not caring for the indigent, the poor, the downtrodden, by performing illegal actions themselves to get witnesses to speak lies.
I can face the slings and arrows here, the put-downs, the mud. Because my work is a glorious work. I shall shout to the Glory of the Lord throughout this ordeal. And hopefully eyes will be opened and scales will fall. People will see what this country had degraded itself to.
The news throughout the world today is the increase in the number of babies being born to opiate-dependent mothers and how they are having to be withdrawn. Many of these articles use the term “addicted” in reference to the baby. This just goes to show the misinformation being passed on. Addiction is when the person will do something against their own best interest to get the drug. I don’t think a newborn is capable of doing that, unless they can voluntarily stop eating, drinking or pooping. But I’ll try not to belabor the definition issue. Basically, the babies are dependent on the drugs, and once they are born, they do go into withdrawal. That is the nature of dependency, and it isn’t pleasant. I wouldn’t want to put any baby through that. That is why, in my practice, I refused to start a reproductive age woman (or man for that matter) on opiates long term. But in spite of that fact, I’m the one out of practice awaiting drug charges, while other doctors that don’t know the dangers of opiates on the unborn continue to keep young people on them, increasing the possibility of future generations becoming drug abusing.
I see two problems with this scenario. First, let’s look at the babies born dependent going through withdrawal. The articles I’ve read talk about the hospitals giving these babies opiates, such as methadone. Stupidity of conventional medicine. Feed the problem with the cause of the problem. They don’t have any other knowledge than pharmaceuticals when there is so much more that could be done alternatively to cleanse the body of the drugs and help with withdrawal. Auricular therapy. Glutathione. Vitamin C.
Second, putting young reproductive age people on opiates or any other potential drug of abuse can cause drug abuse of that drug in their offspring. This is because any long-term exposure to any substance can change the genes of the person, and those genes passed on will cause the offspring to grow up with the desire or inclination to want that drug.
Knowing this, I refused to put young people on drugs if there was a chance of them getting pregnant. Lucky for them, I had other methods of treating the pain, even to the point of healing. But there will probably not be another chance for me to help these people because of the fact that I am always targeted by the government. So this is just one more way that the government is causing more drug abuse than they are preventing. Hopefully good will come out of the situation, though, as I write books and articles and reach more people.
Here is the list of drugs that now have extra warnings:
Potential Signals of Serious Risks/New Safety Information Identified by AERS, October to December 2011
|Product Name: Active Ingredient (Trade) or Product Class||Potential Signal of a Serious Risk/New Safety Information||Additional Information (as of February 15, 2012)*|
|Bortezomib (Velcade, Takeda)||Death from intrathecal administration (medication error)||The Dosage and Administration and Contraindications sections of the labeling for bortezomib were updated January 2012 to include fatal events with intrathecal administration.|
|Brentuximab vedotin (Adcetris, Seattle Genetics)||Progressive multifocal leukoencephalopathy (PML)||The Boxed Warning and Warnings and Precautions sections of the labeling for brentuximab were updated January 2012 to include PML.|
|Fluoroquinolone products||Peripheral sensorimotor neuropathy||FDA is continuing to evaluate this issue to determine whether the current labeling, which contains information about peripheral sensorimotor neuropathy, is adequate.|
|Gabapentin HCl (Neurontin, Pfizer)||Increase in blood creatine phosphokinase levels and rhabdomyolysis|
|Gadolinium-based contrast agents products||Acute kidney injury||FDA is continuing to evaluate this issue to determine whether the current labeling, which contains information about kidney injury, is adequate.|
|Iloprost inhalation solution (Ventavis, Actelion Pharmaceuticals)||Hemoptysis|
|Loperamide HCl–containing products (Imodium, McNeal Consumer Healthcare)||Pancreatitis|
|Magnesium sulfate for injection||Fetal skeletal demineralization, hypermagnesemia, and other bone abnormalities with continuous long-term use in pregnant women|
|Milnacipran HCl (Savella, Forest Pharmaceuticals)||Homicidal ideation|
|Pegloticase (Krystexxa, Savient Pharmaceuticals)||Anaphylaxis and infusion reactions|
|Phenytoin (Dilantin, Pfizer) and nondepolarizing neuromuscular blocking agents||Drug interactions resulting in decreased effectiveness of the nondepolarizing neuromuscular blocking agent|
|Polyethylene glycol 3350 over-the-counter oral laxative (Miralax, MSD Consumer Care)||Neuropsychiatric events||FDA decided that no action is necessary at this time on the basis of available information.|
|Proton-pump inhibitor over-the-counter (OTC) products||Clostridium difficile-associated diarrhea|
|Rubidium Rb82 generator (CardioGen-82, Bracco Diagnostics)||Unintended radiation exposure to strontium isotopes after myocardial imaging||Rubidium Rb82 generator was voluntarily recalled by the manufacturer in July 2011; a return to the US market is planned. The Boxed Warning, Dosage and Administration, and Warnings and Precautions sections of the labeling for rubidium Rb82 generator were updated February 2012 to include information about unintended radiation exposure.|
|Sorafenib tosylate (Nexavar, Onyx Pharmaceuticals)||Osteonecrosis of the jaw|
|Telaprevir (Incivek, Vertex Pharmaceuticals)||Serious skin reactions, including drug reaction with eosinophilia and systemic symptoms (DRESS) and Stevens-Johnson syndrome (SJS)|
*Unless otherwise noted, the FDA is continuing to evaluate these issues to determine the need for any regulatory action.
Hitler was right. When you have people in authority and you can brainwash them into believing your lies, watch out! Here is a Letter to the Editor of the NY Times by a prosecuting attorney in New York City:
To the Editor:
Overuse of narcotic prescription drugs has reached epidemic proportions here in New York City. Over the last four years, the number of oxycodone prescriptions filled by residents grew 124 percent, reaching to more than 1.2 million in 2011.
Robberies, burglaries and homicides have been committed by those seeking addictive pills. Traditional narcotics trafficking organizations are peddling them, and as addicts switch to heroin from prescription medication, heroin production has surged.
This drug epidemic is fueled by the medical profession. Institutional practices will not change without government intervention. At the very least, we must mandate updated training for doctors who prescribe narcotics. Regulators must also build systems to reliably monitor the prescribing and distribution of addictive drugs and intervene before a problem spirals out of control.
A small number of doctors willingly prescribe potentially lethal doses of narcotic drugs for no medical reason. Their motive is financial. Doctors who prescribe in bad faith are drug dealers with a medical license. A vigorous law enforcement response is essential.
BRIDGET G. BRENNAN
Special Narcotics Prosecutor for the City of New York
New York, April 9, 2012
What garbage!!! They have been brainwashed to think that doctors that prescribe opiates are fueling the addiction problem. And so they attack us. The prosecutor attacking me used the phrase at our meeting “A practice such as yours”, referring to the fact that I prescribe opiates. She was speaking derogatorily about my practice. She has no clue. By attacking me they lost the best practice in the area for pain management. But they have blinders on.
I can’t go into why they made a mistake with me because they will be confronted with that during my trial, but suffice it to say, they bit off more than they can chew. I’m out to show them for the liars and evildoers that they are. They are the ones causing drug abuse, not the doctors.
Well, today might be the day. They keep these things secret, but when we met with the US Attorney a few weeks ago the plan was to have me indicted by the grand jury today. Now for those of you who have never been through this process (and hopefully you won’t ever), only the US Attorney presents evidence. It doesn’t matter if it is real or not. They simply show they have just cause to charge the person with something. No defense is allowed (otherwise it would be a trial). So as one lawyer put it, “The grand jury would indict a ham sandwich.” But as for the charges they are putting forth against me, King David says it best in Psalm 35:
Contend, O Lord, with those who contend with me; fight against those who fight against me! Take hold of shield and buckler and rise up to help me! Draw the spear and javelin agains my pursuers; say to my soul, “I am your salvation.”
Let them be put to shame and dishonor who seek after my life. Let them be turned back and confounded who devise evil against me. Let them be like chaff before the wind, with the angel of the Lord driving them on. Let their way be dark and slippery, with the angel of the Lord pursuing them.
For without cause they hid their net for me; without cause they dug a pit for my life. Let ruin come on them unawares. And let the net that they hid ensnare them; let them fall in it–to their ruin.
Then my soul shall rejoice in the Lord, exulting in his deliverance. All my bones shall say, ” O Lord, who is like you? You deliver the weak from those too strong for them, the weak and needy from those who despoil them.”
Malicious witnesses rise up; they ask me about things I do not know. They repay me evil for good; my soul is forlorn. But as for me, when they were sick, I wore sackcloth; I afflicted myself with fasting. I prayed with head bowed on my bosom, as though I grieved for a friend or a brother; I went about as one who laments for a mother, bowed down and in mourning.
But at my stumbling they gathered in glee, they gathered together against me; ruffians whom I did not know tore at me without ceasing; they impiously mocked more and more, gnashing at me with their teeth.
How long, O Lord, will you look on? Rescue me from their ravages, my life from the lions! Then I will thank you in the great congregation; in the mighty throng I will praise you.
Do not let my treacherous enemies rejoice over me, or those who hate me without cause wink the eye. For they do not speak peace, but they conceive deceitful words against those who are quiet in the land. They open wide their mouths against me; they say, “Aha, Aha, our eyes have seen it.”
You have seen, O Lord; do not be silent! O Lord, do not be far from me! Wake up! Bestir yourself for my defense, for my cause, my God and my Lord! Vindicate me, O Lord, my God, according to your righeousness, and do not let them rejoice over me. Do not let them say to themselves, “Aha, we have our heart’s desire.” Do not let them say, “We have swallowed you up.”
Let all those who rejoice at my calamity be put to shame and confusion; let those who exalt themselves against me be clothed with shame and dishonor.
Let those who desire my vindication show for joy and be glad, and say evermore, “Great is the Lord, who delights in the welfare of his servant.” Then my tongue shall tell of your righeousness and of your praise all day long.
David, God’s servant and chosen one, was an enemy of the government (Saul) for years. He had to live in the wilderness. But he never gave up faith. And eventually he became King. God strengthened him and put him to the test in the wilderness. For his faithfulness, David is now with God the Father in heaven. That’s where I’ll be someday. With God’s help I will stand the test.
It is an 18 minute interview of me explaining the situation with government attacks on pain doctors, how I help people heal, what my plan is to publicize the current situation with the attack against me. Please support my book launch on May 15, 2012 by going on Amazon.com and purchasing a book.
Here is a link to an article about the possibility of teenage drug use being the cause of future drug abuse as an adult.
The cause of drug abuse is anxiety, toxicity and living conditions. Children are becoming more and more toxic due to diet and lifestyle. Acidity causes overall anxiety. It’s no wonder kids are becoming drug users. But the biggest concern is what they are doing to their future children. What conventional doctors don’t know that those of us in alternative medicine do is that what we expose our bodies to changes our genes. A study in Sweden has shown that. Time magazine did an article about the formation of epimeres on genes because of environmental exposure. So by using drugs as a teen, it is possible these kids are putting epimeres on their genes that will cause their unborn children to want drugs. The reason the kids today want drugs might be due to their parents experimentation with drugs as a teen. It would be interesting to do a study of the parents of children doing drugs and see what percentage used drugs as a teen themselves. But the point is, we should avoid giving our children anything, including regular pharmaceuticals, because of the passing on of the need for those drugs to future generations.
I’m trying to empty my house out so that I can either sell it or use it for a center for detox. As I’m going through the boxes stored in the basement, I ran across a doll rocking chair, about 9 inches tall, the size of the old Ginny dolls of yesteryear. It brought tears to my eyes.
The time was in the 1950’s. We would have to travel to Grandmother’s house from Falls Church, VA to Troutman, NC by going down Rt. 29. We didn’t have Interstates then. When we got south of Danville, into the mountains, there were country stores with chenille robes, rugs, and all kinds of nickknacks. Once in a while something would catch Mother’s eye and we would stop. The doll rocking chair was purchased at one such stop.
I didn’t play dolls much when I was young, so I can’t say the chair was ever even used. I was more of the cowboy and Indian kind of kid. But just the memories of the trips to Grandma’s house, the 1955 Mercury loaded to the gills. Bren (my sister) and I cramped in the back seat with our stuff. It took 12 hours to make the trip.
I know when I die my things won’t mean much to my kids. But this is one of those things that I would have liked to pass on. Maybe just because it is 60 years old and almost brand new. Maybe because it represents the handcrafts long disappeared from our roadsides. Maybe because I would just like a part of me remembered by my grandchildren. I’ll never know why I kept this particular part of my past.
I might keep it for Abby. She’s only one now, but she might like playing dolls later. My older granddaughter, Cassidy, hasn’t had much of a relationship with me up till now, and probably won’t in the future. But that’s not the reason for this post. As with all of my things, I’ll just have to leave it to God where it should go. I don’t think I’ll sell it for now, though. I’ll hold on to it a little longer.
I can answer that question posted yesterday. Yes I am a man (woman). Yes, I’m tired of being attacked by the government with supposedly all the power. But God is more powerful. My faith is in Him. No more will I wonder what is going to happen. My faith will carry me. It was ridiculous to raid me in the first place. In spite of their brainwashing, they are going to see the error of their ways. God will do it. Someone will step forward and say, “Why are we doing this to a good woman?” And it will all be over and I can help people. I don’t intend on going back to primary care, however. I’m too old to build a practice especially when I won’t take insurance. Even though there are a lot of poor people without medical care. But if they are smart, they will use alternative medicine anyway, and I can then help them. I will also do prolotherapy. That actually stops the need for opiates because it fixes the cause of the pain. With those two things, I can make the world a better place. I can even do medical missions and help people overseas. There are lots of things I’m going to do. And I know God is going to see that I get them done. So enough of the “poor pitiful me” mentality. On with the I’m a winner” mentality. And things will work out.
I am having so much fun getting people and companies to line up helping me with my book launch. In addition to being a good person, I’m going to be an Amazon best selling author. Yippee!! I should be able to retire on that and write more books. Go on trips. Tour the country. Lots to see and do before I die.