Archive for May, 2012
It was September, 2008. I was frantically working off my 600 hours of community service so that I would have a clean record when I went before the board of medicine to get my license reinstated. Most of my community service was done on the Blue Ridge Parkway as a maintenance volunteer. But as a member of the Emmaus Community, I applied and was accepted to do community service on one of the weekends. I picked agape because I had never done that before and wanted to learn. It’s a small world. I found out while working there that another agape volunteer worked in the US Attorney’s office. She wasn’t involved in my case, however, but knew of me through the office. The wounds of being a felon and questioning the purpose of it all were still fresh for me. I knew in my heart of hearts that God supported me and my work, and that all would end up okay. But not having a clear line of communication from God, I continuously questioned my decisions. Were they mine, or were they God’s? I had prayed continuously through the 2 years of legal negotiations for God to lead me down the right path. I made the decision to accept the plea offered by Pat Hogeboom thinking, as my lawyer suggested, that I could do a lot more to help people heal on the outside of prison than the inside. People erroneously believe that our Justice Department actually bring only guilty people to trial. Little do they know that US Attorneys do what is in their best interest to achieve political gain or job security, and justice has nothing to do with it. And I could justify the acceptance of the plea. Even when Hogeboom added a whole different realm of charges at the 12th hour than we had agreed to, I continued with the agreement. I wasn’t afraid of going to trial because I believed that God, in his power and glory, would demonstrate his power by saving me from the lions. Just as Shadrack, Meshach and Abednego, I believed God would save me. But I caved and took the easy road.
I continuously searched for messages from God that He supported me. He spoke to me through the radio in songs that played specifically for me with the message I needed to hear. And then, on that Emmaus weekend, he sent me a specific message. All my life my favorite bible verse had been Psalm 121. “I lift mine eyes to the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord.” But on this Emmaus weekend, God intended to show me a new verse. One that would become my favorite–that kept me going through the bad times. One that today, keeps me focused on the course–the course God has for me.
One of the gifts of agape given on the Emmaus weekend was placemats for the meals An Emmaus member always provided placemats for Sunday lunch. They were calligraphied with the person’s name repeated continuously around the edge. In the middle was a bible verse. The person, when writing each placemat, would pray and discern the message God wanted that person to see. On Sunday, I took the box with the placemats to make sure we had one for every pilgrim. I was hit in the face like a two-by-four being swung by Chris Vaughn (character in Walking Tall) when I opened the box. The very first placemat had Linda calligraphied around the edge. (There was one Linda on the team.) And the verse printed in the middle was Jeremiah 29: 11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declared the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
I knew those words on that placemat were meant for me. They eased my mind. Even though life was rough as a felon considering it should never have happened if the government wasn’t set on an evil agenda, I knew that I did God’s work and he was pleased. He would see me through and I would succeed. That verse still keeps me in full faith in the power of God to put things right at my trial. I will not cave this time. I will face the devil and he will be bowed by my Lord and Savior.
To God be the Glory.
Sorry it has been a while since I wrote. A lot has happened in the last 2 weeks. This will be a summary, and then I will go into each one in more detail at a later date.
First, my book launch on May 15. After 4 months of continuous work, I launched my book, Target: Pain Doc on May 15. I started out at around 1,751,547 in books. I usually try to sell my books myself on my website rather than Amazon because I make more money. At noon I was 97,255. And I broke the best seller list at 2:30 at 57 in the subcategory of Medical Fiction. I let out a “Praise God” and was so happy. A lot of work paid off.
Second, I was the leader of a spiritual weekend for women who have incarcerated loved ones last weekend, May 18-20. It was a glorious weekend. Everything ran smoothly and seven women were blessed with all the love they received.
The last thing might not seem so great, but in God’s point of view, it is the greatest. Thursday I was indicted on 176 counts of drug trafficking. 86 counts of distribution without a DEA certificate and 81 counts of using the DEA number of another doctor. This is where God is really going to shine. At last we have come to the climax. As I told a friend, at last I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. That friend replied, Yes, and the light is Jesus Christ.
I know that through the course of this, I will be scourged and bleeding (in a emotional and psychological way). I know that the Justice Department will lie, cheat, coerce, threaten, and try to paint a picture of me as a bad person and doctor. That’s what they are good at. Justice is not a part of their belief system or action. But I can stand up to their whips. I’ve been to the Garden of Gethsemane. I’ve sat in the hole where Jesus lay during his trial. I’ve walked the path where he walked. This is small potatoes compared to what he went through. And I know that my trial is for God’s glory. God is tired of this country turning it’s back on him. God is disappointed on our leadership shunning him. God is tired of the courts taking his commandments off of public buildings. He is tired of decisions like Judge Urbanski’s where a compromise on the Ten Commandments being displayed as a historical document at Giles County Schools means removing the first 5 commandments because God’s name is present.
God wants this country to repent. To repent means to think again. We all need to think again. The actions of the Justice Department all over this country by shutting down doctors treating pain is to put people on the street. People die. People commit suicide because of pain. That ensures that the person will spend eternity in Hell. Who is responsible for that? The person has to accept responsibility for their actions, but God will hold the ones responsible that caused it by putting people on the street for treating their pain, by not caring for the indigent, the poor, the downtrodden, by performing illegal actions themselves to get witnesses to speak lies.
I can face the slings and arrows here, the put-downs, the mud. Because my work is a glorious work. I shall shout to the Glory of the Lord throughout this ordeal. And hopefully eyes will be opened and scales will fall. People will see what this country had degraded itself to.
The news throughout the world today is the increase in the number of babies being born to opiate-dependent mothers and how they are having to be withdrawn. Many of these articles use the term “addicted” in reference to the baby. This just goes to show the misinformation being passed on. Addiction is when the person will do something against their own best interest to get the drug. I don’t think a newborn is capable of doing that, unless they can voluntarily stop eating, drinking or pooping. But I’ll try not to belabor the definition issue. Basically, the babies are dependent on the drugs, and once they are born, they do go into withdrawal. That is the nature of dependency, and it isn’t pleasant. I wouldn’t want to put any baby through that. That is why, in my practice, I refused to start a reproductive age woman (or man for that matter) on opiates long term. But in spite of that fact, I’m the one out of practice awaiting drug charges, while other doctors that don’t know the dangers of opiates on the unborn continue to keep young people on them, increasing the possibility of future generations becoming drug abusing.
I see two problems with this scenario. First, let’s look at the babies born dependent going through withdrawal. The articles I’ve read talk about the hospitals giving these babies opiates, such as methadone. Stupidity of conventional medicine. Feed the problem with the cause of the problem. They don’t have any other knowledge than pharmaceuticals when there is so much more that could be done alternatively to cleanse the body of the drugs and help with withdrawal. Auricular therapy. Glutathione. Vitamin C.
Second, putting young reproductive age people on opiates or any other potential drug of abuse can cause drug abuse of that drug in their offspring. This is because any long-term exposure to any substance can change the genes of the person, and those genes passed on will cause the offspring to grow up with the desire or inclination to want that drug.
Knowing this, I refused to put young people on drugs if there was a chance of them getting pregnant. Lucky for them, I had other methods of treating the pain, even to the point of healing. But there will probably not be another chance for me to help these people because of the fact that I am always targeted by the government. So this is just one more way that the government is causing more drug abuse than they are preventing. Hopefully good will come out of the situation, though, as I write books and articles and reach more people.